At the groups I run, I have met many lovely parents. And as is often the case at groups aimed at parents of babies and toddlers, most people who attend are mums. But I have also got to know some dads who are the primary carer for their baby/toddler. Sometimes this is due to the two parents splitting parental leave 50-50, and sometimes it is because the mum is the German speaker, so is the main breadwinner following a move to Germany. Whatever the reason, one thing these fathers have in common is that they are usually in the minority (or, as the Germans put it, the cockrel in the basket (of hens)).
So I decided to offer a group aimed specifically at dads of babies and toddlers.
Not because I advocate segregation, far from it! But because I know that it can be easier, and sometimes nicer, to be among people who know *exactly* what you are going through. And let’s be honest, men and women are not the same. And while it can be wonderful getting together in a mixed group, it can also be important to spend time with those who understand that little bit better what it means to be a dad on parental leave.
The fact alone that the dad does not carry the baby for 9 months, or give birth, means that a father’s experience of the run-up to parenthood is vastly different. And depending on whether the baby is breastfed or bottle fed, the bonds – or burdens – experienced in the first few months can feel very different for each parent. But it’s little things, too, that can make such a big difference. And while many experiences (such as the massive life-changing impact that having a baby has) are the same for mums and dads, some are not.
So to complement the monthly International Breakfast and the weekly Minis & Moms* playgroup, which are open to mums and dads alike, the Daddy & Me group is only for dads (just like the Mummy & Me group is only for mums). I firmly believe that this is a valuable addition to the wonderful range of courses offered at the Familientreff in Oberursel. I am proud to be a part of the team, and excited about starting this group, which I hope will help many dads to find “dad friends”, just like many of the mothers at the mummy & me groups have found “mom friends” with whom they socialise during the week. Because parenthood definitely is more fun with friends.
And yes, I myself am a woman not a man. But that doesn’t mean I can’t be the facilitator for dads who would appreciate a place to meet other dads in a relaxed atmosphere, where they can get valuable input and ideas from an experienced parent (who happens to be a mum) as well as getting to know other new parents and benefitting from the boost that is knowing you’re not the only one going through what you’re going through…! I will not be trying to sell the female perspective (although I am happy to share if asked). As a QEKK-qualified course leader, and as a parent, I will simply be providing a group where dads and their littl’uns can get together and make the most of their parenting experience here in Oberursel / the Taunus / the greater Frankfurt area / Germany.
The Daddy & Me group is in English, as like all of my parent & child groups it is aimed primarily at non-German parents who feel more comfortable in English than in German, or who crave contact in English. BUT, German natives are of course very welcome to come along, too, as long as they speak some English. I am sure the atmosphere will be as friendly and relaxed as it is at all of my courses and meet-ups, which are usually a wonderful mix of people from all over the world united by their being in Germany and having a child. And if that’s not enough to have in common to be able to talk for hours, I don’t know what is…!?
So, let’s do this!